1. |
A Call to the Spirits
02:33
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A call to the spirits - change your scenery and infuse me
Warm my dying blood, let me see beyond myself to the broader pastures of life
Through any sheaths of indifference, past the closed loops of habit, out of the sinkhole of time
Vacuum up these bits of broken glass ‘cause I still live here
Don’t wanna step in what I’ve done
You know how things get near the end of the year
Beer, wine, and whisky, and spirits all gone
And the first step to any change is no step when you see no problem at all
But by now those left should only cheer me on
Yet I deny the slightest private satisfactions
Maybe I should wait to find the truest friends
To help me with what’s really wrong - not project their own demons
For every physical addiction in the face of emotional depletion
You can take the chicken and you can take the egg - I’d just choose then beg
Why not take on what's underlying? My hot air deserves a shove
See, I'm so afraid of dying not having learned how to truly love
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2. |
INFP
02:17
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Waiting out at your worst,
Sleeping in the parking lots of your mind,
Because otherwise all the people see through your disguise,
And you’ll feel better
Cast it all aside
And then make the most out of whatever, come and go as you please
Patting yourself on the back for enduring any unease
Enough pain creeps in
To give the cycle a full spin
You’re keeping to yourself fully again
Somewhere somehow you believe you’ll change
You’re tired of everyone around seeming to be at such a distance
As if you don’t just try your jokes, then leave in almost in every instance
Make your appearances with no commitment
Thinking someone will reach and pull through
In a world that don’t revolve around you
‘Cause everyone slows down with age
And you build your invisible cage
No matter all the conversations
My New Year's resolution is to have some revelations
Let’s find a way to make what I see
Meaningfully not about me
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3. |
Reconstruction
01:42
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Hollowed out as far as see-through
Yet the hills don’t fold to meet you
In their own way they turn a cold shoulder
boxed into your house from your damn life grown out
With no one good reaching in
So unsure of where to begin to step out past ourselves
I’ve lived long enough to ignore as I wish to
Amidst the flies and lies we can only find a confidence to submit to
No matter who’s around
It’s on me to see to my need to break myself down
Dig thru debris to find my favorite pieces of me
Take in new spaces between
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4. |
Poisoned in the Light
01:43
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You don’t have to turn to anything
And we don’t have to run anymore
In this sphere of uninvited contentment
Hearing our own whole stories
Accepting moral inventories
Poisoned to see the light?
Flying high and lonely
I wish I could share so much what’s happening to me
And if everyone is an island let me be the sea
With no one out of my reach
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5. |
Exact Nature
02:08
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Been facing this here reality without no medication
How I lose concentration, but the pain to elations keep me singing
That I don’t need a different way
To force me through to the next day
And I can drink to dull and sleep so dead, in reaction to the ever-present dread with my
Lost old heart, and it constantly aches, so proud to be broken until everything breaks
And I didn’t used to feel this way
Left just to me to lose my days
Wish a love lead me to see my exact nature
I could be too far gone as if there’s anything major about living in the world
Of flesh and blood and wine and love
Just could be the world in which to make some plans frozen as I am
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6. |
Love is Sustenance
02:20
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I could be close to you
For all the years that we’ve been treading through,
Working and waiting, can I see if I’d make it all worth it to do?
Meet these eyes in the sunrise
When you enter the room
Something’s always taking a hold of me
I haven’t known you too well but the way I do has me hanging on to every word from you
Only beautiful people are strong and openly vulnerable
Reversing waves of distance upon lonely souls
People taking what they can
And I wanna learn to give
And honestly I’ve never felt too inspired to live, but
You come along almost out of my mind like someone I always knew
Let me know what I can do, so pleased I’d be to please you
And gravity doesn’t seem to be a thing, when you’re looking at me, hear you speak so freely
And how it’d be so healing to follow my rare feelings
As we live then die
And want to be of substance
Make an honest try to give some sustenance
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7. |
Can You Release Me?
03:07
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I’ve been getting so tired of myself
It’s too late for me to become somebody else
Just me stuck in my shell, oh well
But now it’s time for action to get some satisfaction
Go and get what you want - what you need
Within reason - try not to be a fiend
Can waste so much life and liberty
Thinking about what every single thing I see could mean
Could we swim into each of our infatuations?
What will yield a reaction in me to get my satisfaction?
Can’t get out - can I let myself out of me?
With some help, can you release me please?
And the boundlessness of space
Should put us all in our place
But it’d still be wise not to rule out the chance of an escape
Can you release me?
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8. |
Bird of Non-Paradise
01:43
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Feeble feet going numb - did I buy the right slave shoes?
Dreams just becoming memes as if our lives are already done
But we can close that door and leap out the open window
Take a running start to reach the trees and leave altogether
And nothing ever stays the same enough, which makes every day feel so much the same
Change up big superstitions to enact change to feel wildy strange
Bird of non-paradise paint your plumage as you wish
With your freedom to fly for what? No one really knows why if you’ll never leave
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9. |
Conspiracy of Mediocrity
01:31
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Someone get the witch doctor
To save us from the beauty queen machine
So many trapped looking into the chambers
Of smoke and mirrors and themselves
Appearances so well maintained
Honest feelings a private property
Seldom shared across media
Is there a conspiracy of mediocrity?
I thirst for life and anxiety removal
And hope to avoid the hordes over the trapdoor of approval
Drain the good and keep the cool
Stick with your friends and just what you know
Never look the desperate fool really listening at the show
Trying to connect with expression for all that’s not my thing
Against the currents of depression what makes you really sing?
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10. |
De-simulation
02:18
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Convince myself of almost every feeling
Predicted effects from a cause in which I intervened
I know and so: an imposed “rationality”
Filling life with familiar activities
Planning to be on top of everything happily
But then the joy is scarce and uncontrolled
As I succeed and fail and fold alone
In the sea of wandering souls
Souls looking to share their homes and I just could
Be the one you hold to hope with our emotions
I tell myself this is all I really need as I want to feel anything I can
With your life and mine
I wish only to face off with my dreams and fears in the best of company
And creatures of habit with worlds apart within their minds
Seek to merge their self-containments to make more sense
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11. |
Solo Dine
02:20
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Table for two, party of one
Please refill the chips - the words have yet to come
With myself about the fading of days
Or about all I could’ve done reviewing each play to make you stay
Sitting and summoning
The waitstaff picks Spanish to talk about me
With only concern as if I’m gone enough to sell roses in the street
I’ve been going here a while and don’t need a menu
And even though you moved and may marry soon, I keep picturing running into you
In this marvelous lifetime of mine
I feel a stoppage of time each solo dine
Picking up the sticks and stones
Pulling up the vines to see where they lead
Killing which trees as they climb?
And for all the hours I’m forced to act like I have a clue
I’m trapped inside memories of you
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12. |
It's So Usual
02:17
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It's so usual to wait around for love
As if everything bends to make what you dream of
Without no doing, you place your bet, tell me what exactly has happened at all yet?
It's so usual to phone in the day all the way
Barely carry out the errands
Get late on bills to pay
Looking forward to such fewer things
You release some dopamine while daydreaming
It's so usual to forget what you want
When you’re not too sure you ever even get what you need
Waiting for whatever comes around
But you don’t want to be so run into the ground
But you just won’t get too hurt
Because you’re your own savior
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Social Circle Athens, Georgia
Where did I go?
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